S A T I R E
November 4, 2026
After the political winds [and the most secure election in human history] ushered in sweeping changes to the Lone Star State last night, [formerly red neighborhoods emptied, making way for the blue wave as] Texans were seen crossing the Rio Grande into Mexico.
“We’re setting off to find a place where we can live in freedom,” said conservative Texan Derek Johnson. “I’ve got a wife and kids, so I’m wanting to give them a better life somewhere where they won’t have to live under oppressive third-world tyranny. I think life in Mexico under the cartels sounds a lot better than living in a blue Texas. The food is really good, too.”
While Texas had long been viewed as the standard-bearer for conservative Republican states in the U.S., [change has been coming especially to Dallas-Fort Worth and Houston as epicenters in the explosion of mosques in Texas. The Lone Star state is expected by 2030 to surpass California as the state with the most mosques.
Now with addition of the blue wave, Texas just doesn’t feel the same.] “It’s not going to be safe to live here,” said Fort Worth resident Chris Wilson. “It’s time to go in search of liberty and a brighter future filled with more opportunity. Maybe Venezuela. It’ll be better there than here in a few years, that’s for sure.”
