S A T I R E
[Despite all the controversy in Los Angeles about election fraud and mail-in ballots, the proof was in the pudding: Democracy won.]
Following last week’s primary elections, L.A. residents now face a difficult choice in the general election between an avowed communist and an avowed communist.
Incumbent communist Karen Bass will face off against committed communist Nithya Raman in November as voters select who to run the communist regime for the city.
[“We didn’t start the Palisades Fire,” both candidates insisted. It was instead allegedly started by another communist and Luigi Mangione admirer.]
“It’s a tough choice,” L.A. voter Karla Martinez admitted. “On the one hand, you have a woman who fought with communists in Cuba. On the other hand, you have a woman who wants to seize all the means of production and centralize power. It’s a toss-up, really.”
The candidates, whose views range from Marxist to very Marxist, will have five months to make their case for who will be [more ideologically appropriate].
“It’s not a question of if the city will take away private property, the question is who will take away private property,” explained local Spencer Marcus. “Which Bolshevik do you want eliminating all personal rights and ownership? These are the hard choices Los Angelenos will have to make.”
[“Power to the people,” the Los Angeles Times explained in an editorial.]
